Sewn Together, Torn Apart
by hothothothot
Summary: When Hermione begins to lose faith in herself, she gets lent a helping hand from the least expected person.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione was walking down the hallways of Hogwarts with her friends Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They were having so much fun because they are awesome. Anyways, Hermione said she had to study and skippid blissfully back to the common room. Harry and Ron proceded to go to the Great hall and play Wizard checkers because that game is awesome like howgrawts. Except when Snape is mean to them and Smacks Harry's fuzzy head with the floppy checker board and Ron creys sad tears.

As Hermone was walking up he magical moving staircase she saws handsome guy with sexy eyes and super sexily slicked-back blonde hair. And he had such a sexy face, but wait, it was Draco Malfoy! And Drco was a very mean foal and evil person. He also called Hermione a lot of horryyfic names like Big butt and stupid boobs. But today for some misterios and stupendeously terrific reason, he looked sexiful and hot.

"Where are you going, Gragner?" He asked in a sexy way. But Hermione was still mad because Draco is mean to her and her super cool friends.(harry and ron, remember? They're super awesome!)

"Ugh," She spat cotnardactingly and sohpistitcedly. "Draco stop being such a jerk!"

"Granger, even though you are extremly good-lokking, I must declin these sexual advancs of yours." Then malfoy stomped of in a tombyish and playful mannerisimm.

Then, Herminoe got sad because Mafloy was a total sex bomb and all the gurls wanted to eff him. Even LUNA!

So later that day she told Harry about her frightful and atrocoiusly-girly dilemma and he puked cause he hates Malfoy! But then he told Hermione to fallow her heart.

So then the next day Herimnoe confrotned Draco and told him in and uptight and geaurgeous way, because Hermione is super HOT!

"Mlafoy I love you! Even if our distinuishing houses seperate who we are it deos not matter because Harry told me that I must fallow my heart and its pointing to your sexy boyish face!"

They both gigglde in delight because they were in true love and totally kissed right in the miidle of the hallway! Ron was jealous because he likes Hermione but she doesn't know! And he doesn't like malfoy so hes very jealous and resentful of hes angrily deeds done dirt cheap with prostitutes! And Harry is jaelous because he has a major crush on Malfoy!(lol what a twist!) And he thinks dRaco is super salami sexi!

After having a total makeout and makeover session, Hermione goes to the Slytherin common room and they all except her becuase she is dating Draco and they throw a super soaker wizarding sun splash party to celebrate! It was so fun because slytrens like to party alot! And Hermoine gets super drunk from all this teuqlqila! And Draco is very conserned all of the suden. So he lets her sleep on his bed! But nothing dirty hapened ! Because Drco is good now!

Then next day, Hermone woke up and Mafoy was gon buthe left a notte that said,

"Dear my olelyst Hermionw, My evil deth eater duties have called! I must dissapper into the night but I will ruturn for you my lovleost dafodil! for the pigeons and sqirilles will not sing and rejoice until i have returned! I also want you to tell stupid ron to stop being such a hore and get his life back toghether or hell end up like lindsey lohan! and tell Harry that I don't like his face which points extrenous daggers into my deep complexion of thoughts and feelings." Your sexi bf, Draco.

And the Hermine cride ters of sadness and lustlessness.


	2. Chapter 2

"God damanit Ron!" Harry exclaimed as he was defeated in a game of wizarly chekers agaiN!

"Haha!" Ron chuckled maliciously and ferociously. "Now you have to ask Luna out!"

Luna was super horrifically ugly but she was always dating boys because shes a hoe. But Harry and Ron don't know she is because its a super secret thing.

Then, Hermione ran into the Great Hall creying and sobbing abnoxiously and sadly. She punched Ron in his jugular because Ron is annoying and always tries to ask Hermione out but she sais no but he keeps insisting.

"Ouch!" Ron screamed in silent agonys.

"Damnation, RON!" Hermione then elbowed Harry in the stomach and threw the note Draco gave her on the table."Draco left me!" she cryed.

Harry chuckled annoyingly and exclamed,"Oh Hermione. You are so silly." But inside he was dying because his true love had gone away and said mean things about him and her began to cy as he pulled his wand out and used the cruciatus curse on Ron so he could feel Harrys pain and sufferage.

"What the Chudley Canons, Harry?" Ron yelped."I massege your back and this is the thanks I get?" Ron ran away punching everyone he passed in the face, including Ginny.

"Ow." she wispered. "Hi Harry." She said blushinly.

"Hello girl im not attracted to." Harry said scrtching his sexy head.

Ginny creyed and ran into a wall and evryone laghed and criyed at her pain and suffarag.

Hermone and Harry decided to go after Darco by becoming death eaters. So they looked in the restricted section in the library and lerned about becomin death eaters and evils stuff.

"Evils Kaneevalis." Harry turnd Hermion into a death eatr and then she did the same to harry.

They sulked of of Horgwats grounds into Hargids hut.

"Urgg wat are you guys doing?" He asked quizically.

"Were becoming death eaters to get Draco." Said harry

"He is my one tru luv." Hermione sung. She then started to evily break dance all over the place.

"Woah Hermione you should be a brek dance."

"OMG i totalll shoud!"

"But we nedd Draxo first."

"O ya"

So Harry and hermione drank som red bull and grew magically huge hippogriff wings(get it, cuz red bul gives u wings!)

They then flew out of the castle and towards Malfoy Monor!


	3. Chapter 3

Harry and Hermione began flynig ovr to Malfoy Manor to reunite Hermone with her true love, Draco MalfoY!

"Do you see it yet Her-my-my?" Harry asked(lol thats hermiones nickname)

"No HARRY GOD!" Hemioone yelled in angst.

"Oh no our wings are wering off!" Harry sneezed.

"TATERS!" they told as they lowerd into th great unknown.

They then wer dropped in the middle of nowhere in a big forest. And it was SUPER DARK.

"What the blob do we do now Hary! Hermione sang.

"We use the car i brought!" Harry said!

"ACIOO HUMMER!"

Then Harry and Hermione drove threw the unknown in a pimped out hummer even tho they dont know how to drive lol. They eventually drove to a log cabin and dcide to stay ther cus the darkness of evils was ascending on the souls of theyr shoes and eyes.

Hermione acciod a live deer and harry killd it with an axe and got bllod all over the place. Hermione giggled at their silly butthole pridicemint. PEPPERS!

"yum harry this deer tastes like rabies."

"I luv rabies like the homo I am" Harry replied in glee and excremental dilightlessfulity.

"God Hary! Im so cold." Herminoe sobed.

Then hermione totally kissed HARRY!1 Smearing deer blodd alllll ove their faces.

"EW!"HARRY YELLSD

"I'm SORRY'"" HERMIONI SQUEMMED FOOLISHNESSLY!

"HERMIONE I AM FLAMIN GAY! WHTA IS THIS ODDISH DISIER!" HARry steemed an sizzeled with confusions.

"I was just thinki of MlafoY!" Hremione rolled.

THey went to sleep in awkwardness.

The next morning everything was better and they continued off into the woods to find Draco. After many long hours they finally saw a figure in te distane!

"Harry what is it?" Ermione began to fumble in circles.

"I think its a person!1' Harry suprised! They tumbled ferociously our of the hummer and backpacker the butt in the road up to the vile shadows!I!

"HELLO!" SCreamed Hermione.

The persom stepped forward and it waas RON!1 WITH A SHOTGUN!

"Ronn? What is this blasphemy!" Excluded Hermione girlishly.

"You have denied me my luves! I have crey many sorrowfully pains and sweat of life for your tears and happinis! I am filed with saddens."

Then Harry criyd.

"I'm sorry Rin! My love is not for yours! It is Drcaos lov!"

ROn depessed in a heap.

"I hav killed this rabbit for you!"

Ron then threw a rabbit at Harry who leaped in excaliment! The rabbit was oozing boogers and bugs of damnation.

"Ron I already have rabies I no need of this thing of such tasteleesfullnes." Harry squimmed.

Hermionie then raised her beautiful face of beauty and sexiness and said" Ron I love you as a BFF!"

Ron gleemed in excitedness as he had never been a bff with a hot girl.

"Can I go wth you" He repleadesd!

OKAY!' They all gixled.

They began driving until they saw a giant house! It was MALFOY MAOR!


	4. Chapter 4

Harry ron and Hermione had finally arrived at Malfoy Manor sussefully. After there long and trecherous jeourny filled with spiders and empty soul that retched of terrible crys and excremts. Many hearts had been broken and minds had benn skinnd by horryficc thoughts buyt they all made iT!

They totalyy parked the hummer outside of the palace. It was covered with thousands of bloods and incests poop. But they didnt care because they found Draco!

"Yes! I can finally reunite with my LOVE D RACO!" slobberd Hermione in gasps of lust and foolessishenes.

"Horray." wishperd Ron who was still sad about Hermiones rejection of his luves.

Harry was also secretly excited about meeting Draco because he is flmaing homo for him. And he wants to kiss his face really bad. But he nkows Hermione likes him so he is torn in his frienships and his personal moments of tryin to reach his pesonal moments an thoughts,

They all walked up to the scary creakign mansion that smeld of death and evility.

"Ron I am scarde." Creyd Harry is shivers of coradishity. He hugged rons beefishly large bodie.

"Okay I will hug u Hary but I am not hiomo." Ron yelped.

"Ok" Agreed Harry in solumedness because he understod Rons aflicttion towards Hermiones hot body.

Heroines thoughts had been scattered through her brain as she though of the millloins of blonde babys she woold have with Draco . She blushed vivlty and picked up her paecs.

tHE THree of them retrched the door and befor RoN Knocked so foolishly so, Hermione hormonly grabbed his fat wrist and said "NO RON WIAT!"

"What Hermoine! Ron futsratedly pudged. His hare scatterd in many directions.

"whAT If Voldemarts in there?" She commonplated quizzicaly. Everone was sileced.

Harrys scars becan to tickle is jibbers. He slpapped his hand on his forehead ind pains.

"We got here together, an we die in the haerts of friendship!" Harry spoked. His voice was brave and sirious.

Ron creyd. Harry patted his beefy ginger back.

They all had a momenst of sadenns and had s tripel group hug infront of Malfoy Manor.!

"Harry befor we face our fates, I want to let you know that you are my BFF. And I totally want to hang wtih you fatfer we dye!" Hermione screamed between her clusterds of snots and tares tha fell dow her sexishly face that still looked sexi.

"What about me? Ron yelld!

RON DON NOT YEL" HERmione creid benethe her moans of heartaches.

"FINE"

Then it was silenced agaim.

Harry decided to finally knock on the door even if he woul die becuase he was giong to die of rbaies anyways. So he was cool with it.

It was quite.

Then someone answered the door.!

"Iv'e been expecing you three!" said an croakingly oddish voice.

It was Dumbledore!

Hermionine JUmped in her undies and laughed.


End file.
